Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
