I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
