How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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