i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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