no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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