hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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