You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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