So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
