he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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