Already got asked if we're dating
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
