does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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