my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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