I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
