Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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