No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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