I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
