you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
