I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
