i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
