hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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