you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
