I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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