I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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