....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
