I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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