its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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