FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
