so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
