ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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