even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
