i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
