11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
