You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Farmville is her only friend.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
