She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize