i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
