Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
