how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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