FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
