end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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