I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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