Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
