i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize