I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
