Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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