What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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