How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
