I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
