She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
