Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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