I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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