Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
