Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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