How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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