K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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