Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
