omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
