I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
