just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
