i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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