arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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