i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
